


Science Time with Nimona and Ballister

by cadenzamuse



Category: Nimona (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, M/M, SCIENCE!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadenzamuse/pseuds/cadenzamuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to SCIENCE! Time with Nimona and Ballister.  You are about to step into an important alternate dimension: the laboratory.  With this kit, you will learn how to study the world around you, analyze the intersections of magic and SCIENCE!, and create rudimentary plans to take over your local kingdom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Science Time with Nimona and Ballister

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GhostJ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostJ/gifts).



> Thanks, as always, to Thorya, who audiences, edits, and has a better Nimona voice than I do.
> 
> Thanks also to ungelic_is_us, who was the best alpha-reader I could ask for, and without whom I would have beat my head against this fic approximately 112% more than I did.

 

#  ~~Science~~ SCIENCE! Time with  ^Nimona and Ballister

 

_NIMONA: You can’t do this without me!_

_BLACKHEART: Nimona, I am a highly trained villain with years of expertise.  Moreover, I have been employing science in my villainy since long before I met you._

_GOLDENLOIN: That was before.  Now I’m your lab assistant!  Every mad scientist needs a gorgeous assistant._

_BLACKHEART: Your unflattering caricature of Ambrosius does not inspire confidence.  Also, I am not a mad scientist._

_NIMONA: You’re currently angry!  And wearing lab goggles._

*

Welcome to SCIENCE! Time with Nimona and Ballister.  You are about to step into an important alternate dimension: the laboratory.  A laboratory is a workshop for SCIENCE!  With this kit, you will learn how to study the world around you, analyze the intersections of magic and SCIENCE!, and create rudimentary plans to take over your local kingdom.

This kit contains some dangerous and complicated equipment, so you will need some help from your parents, mad scientists, or an expert villain. 

**CAUTION: Expert villains must be actual villains, not evil goblins disguised as directors of important Institutes.**

**Contents:**

1 Erlenmeyer flask

1 beaker

3 round-bottom flasks

2 test tubes

5 petri dishes

2 horseshoe magnets

2 bar magnets

1 bag iron filings

Raw SCIENCE!

Non-toxic food-coloring

1 self-destruct button (CAUTION: DO NOT press the self-destruct button.)

**You will need:**

1 pair goggles (green)

1 box laboratory gloves (green)

1 dashing cape (red)

1 eye-dropper

1 case soda (red-and-white, canned)

*

_BLACKHEART: There is no such thing as “raw science.”_

_NIMONA: Whatever.  What else could that pink bubbly stuff in that beaker be?_

_BLACKHEART: Oh, that.  Actually, that’s a sulfate-free hair conditioner._

 

###  **Learn about magnets**

Magnets create an invisible force field with two poles, north and south.  North poles are attracted to south poles, but repelled by other north poles.  All magnets have north and south poles, so if you break a magnet into pieces, each piece will also have a north and south pole. 

**You will need:**

Iron filings

A handful of paperclips

Parchment

Step 1: Place a bar magnet and a horseshoe magnet on sheets of parchment.  Gently scatter iron filings around each magnet.  This will make the shape of the magnetic field appear.  Compare the two magnetic fields.

Step 2: Use one of your magnets to pick up paperclips one at a time.  Observe how long you can make your paperclip chain.  Does this differ between the two magnets?  Why or why not?

Step 3:  Stop doing boring stuff with magnets and get a hammer.  Smash the magnets into pieces.  See if they still have a north and south pole.  Smash them into smaller pieces.  Do it again.  WHY DO THEY WORK THIS WAY?????  I THOUGHT THIS WAS SCIENCE, NOT MAGIC

Step 4: Magnets are made up of atoms.  Atoms have electrons and protons, which are attracted to each other by the electromagnetic force, but the weak nuclear force keeps them apart.  So the electrons form pockets that attract the protons from other atoms.  This means that as long as you haven’t divided your magnet on the subatomic level, you have only split it into smaller sets of atoms with magnetic polarity.

Step 5: Skip this activity.  Turns out everything about magnets is suuuper boring.

*

_GOLDENLOIN: Ballister, why is Nimona still smashing things in the lab and cackling madly?_

_BLACKHEART: I’m afraid I told her a magnetic monopole is a theoretical possibility._

_GOLDENLOIN: Um…does she have to be a shark to study this magnetic whatever?_

_BLACKHEART: Probably.  We_ are _talking about Nimona._

 

###  **Run a decoder program**

N pbqr vf n zrgubq bs genafsbezvat naq bofphevat n zrffntr fb gung vg pna’g or ernqvyl haqrefgbbq. Guvf znxrf vg cbffvoyr gb genafzvg frperg vasbezngvba va cynva fvtug. Bar fvzcyr sbez bs pbqr vf pnyyrq n “pvcure.” Pvcuref ner bsgra onfrq ba flfgrzngvpnyyl fhofgvghgvat yrggref naq ahzoref va n zrffntr. EBG13 vf bar fhpu pvcure. Vg vaibyirf fhofgvghgvat rnpu yrggre jvgu gur yrggre guvegrra yrggref njnl sebz vg va gur nycunorg. Guvf pvcure unf gur nqinagntr bs orvat flzzrgevpny—gur fnzr npgvba gung vf gnxra gb rapvcure gur zrffntr vf nyfb hfrq gb qrpvcure vg.

Fgrc 1: Nggrzcg gb qrgrezvar jung xvaq bs pvcure guvf. Fbzr glcvpny jnlf gb nanylmr pvcuref vapyhqr serdhrapl nanylfvf bs yrggref naq ybbxvat sbe pbzzba cnggreaf bs yrggref jvguva jbeqf.

Fgrc 2: Uheel hc. Vg’f ernyyl rnfl! Whfg Tbbtyr EBG13, pbcl guvf va, naq uhzbe Onyyvfgre ol ynhtuvat ng uvf ynzr zrgn-wbxr.

*

_NIMONA: You’re gonna build a better code than this now that you’re King, right?  Because we cracked the Institute’s code really quick._

_BALLISTER: For the last time, I am not King, I am Lord Protector._

_NIMONA: Practically the same thing._

_BALLISTER: It’s not.  For one thing, it is not in a king’s best interests to subtly encourage a more democratic form of government._

_NIMONA: Boss, you are the_ best _sneaky villain!_

 

###  **Learn about combustion**

Combustion, or burning, is a self-sustaining chemical reaction, usually caused by oxygen binding with carbon and hydrogen in a material.  Combustion is a process that occurs slowly, releasing heat and light.  Theoretically, if combustion could be made to occur rapidly, the energy released could be harnessed to propel projectiles or even be transferred to more complicated mechanisms.  One such hypothetical mechanism has been proposed to automate the turning of wheels, such as in mills or on carriages.  Unfortunately, no fast-burning substances have ever been discovered.

Step 1:  None.  Fire is dangerous.  Put that down, Nimona!

*

_BLACKHEART: Change back this instant!  You are far too distracting in that form, and besides, long hair is a flame hazard.  I’ve told you that before!_

_GOLDENLOIN: Change back?  I wore this armor specifically for you.  Last time, you said you really liked the attachment in the—_

_BLACKHEART: Nimona, you are going too far._

_GOLDENLOIN: —codpiece.  Ballister?  It’s really me._

_BLACKHEART: Oh.  OH!  AMBROSIUS!_

_NIMONA: Gah!  Stop trying to strangle him with your tongue!_

 

###  **Plot to take over the world**

When plotting to take over the world, it is very important to consider what your end goals are and what Rules you are following.  (Some sample Rules are found in Appendix C.)  These exercises assume you are using _My Rules_ by Ballister, Lord Blackheart.

**You will need:**

1 large roll of butcher paper

1 ~~pencil~~ pink crayon

Step 1: On the butcher paper, sketch out a diagram of how you could use SCIENCE! to make the world a better place.  Think of what parts of your society need to be changed or thwarted so that everyone will be more safe, happy, and free.  Use the whole roll.

HINT: Make sure to include the genetically modified dragons.  All good SCIENCE! uses genetically modified dragons.

Step 2: Use a pink crayon to make a better plan.  Write it on top of the first plan.  Also, the Rules are stupid.  You’re a villain!  Kill some people.  Make more explosions.  Add more fire!

Step 3: Separate your plot into stages.  Add fire.

Step 4: Follow the plot.  Add fire.

Step 5: FIRE!!!

**WARNING: Exercise for theoretical use only.  Blackheart Labs, LTD is not liable for any damage caused by taking over the world.**

*

_GOLDENLOIN: Blackheart!  What is this?_

_BLACKHEART: My science book for children.  I am attempting to inspire children to examine the world more closely._

_GOLDENLOIN: I knew you would betray me!  Leading children to become villains—how dare you?_

_BLACKHEART: Well, it turned out okay for us, didn’t it?  …also, that part was probably Nimona._

_GOLDENLOIN: I knew you appreciated my help, Boss._

_BLACKHEART: NIMONA!  What did I tell you about impersonating your step-father?!_

_SHARK: I’M A SHARK!_


End file.
